Poppy And The Sausage

Personally, I don’t like human food, apart from the odd freshly cooked chicken breast or tin of tuna, which I share with my daddy when he has a tuna sandwich.  I much prefer my ‘Felix As Good As It Looks Succulent Steaklets of Ocean Fish’ (as opposed to river fish I suppose, which must be common). Consequently, mummy and daddy can leave their food out and I don’t go near it, but the following conversation recently ensued between daddy and I in the kitchen:

Daddy               Poppy, come here please.

Poppy                Yes daddy?

Daddy               What’s that?

Poppy                What’s what?

Daddy               That, in the middle of the kitchen floor.

Poppy                It looks like a half eaten sausage daddy.

Daddy               What’s it doing in the middle of the kitchen floor?

Poppy                I really can’t imagine, it’s nothing to do with me.

Daddy               I think it probably was Poppy.

Poppy                How could you possibly think that? I’m mortally wounded.

Daddy               Well I haven’t left it there, and your mother’s not prone to leaving half eaten food on the    kitchen floor, so I think it may have been you.

Poppy             Oh OK then, it might have been me.

Daddy             Why has it been chewed at both ends?

Poppy            Well I tried one end to see if I liked it, but I didn’t, so I tried the other end to see if it tasted any better.

Daddy            Poppy, you don’t eat human food, you have ‘Felix As Good As It Looks Succulent Steaklets of Ocean Fish’. ‘Succulent Steaklets of Ocean Sausage’ doesn’t have quite the same ring to it. Well now I’m going to chop that sausage up and put it in your bowl, and you can finish it off.

Poppy            I don’t want it now, thank you, you know I don’t like human food!